Legal Lady Boss- Silvia Pastor Finkelstein

When one of our mentors, Amanda Reiss, casually told me about her mom’s move from Spain to the United States to begin her legal career, her story stuck with me. I couldn’t get her out of my head. In a time like this, we all need inspiring stories of those who have persevered despite adversity. People who don’t take “no” for an answer. When I finally got to interview Silvia, I could understand why her passion drives her purpose and was blown away by how she’s handled some of the toughest issues (immigration, children’s rights, and narcotics) with the utmost compassion and professionalism. Most of all, Silvia has words of wisdom for all of us as we’re living through unprecedented times, and it means always remembering gratitude.

Disclaimer: The below are Silvia Finkelstein’s personal beliefs and are not representative of the Nassau County District Attorney’s Office.

The following is a transcript of the interview, which has been redacted for the sake of brevity.

Ava: You were born in Spain and moved to the United States to pursue your career. Tell me a little about your upbringing and what led you to pursue the law.  

Silvia: I grew up in Spain and at the time, we had a military dictatorship in power, General Francisco Franco, who ruled for forty years. At that time in Spain, there was a law that precluded women from being admitted to the bar or be sworn-in as public officers.

After my dad died when I was eight, my mother asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. We had seen the movie To Kill a Mockingbird and I told my mom that I wanted to do what that guy did. My mom said to me, “No, you can’t, because you're a girl, and girls in Spain cannot be lawyers or prosecutors.”  I thought, I'll go someplace else. And I never changed my mind.  I went to California for college because my sister lived in California, so that I would have someone nearby. I met my husband in law school at Southwestern. He was from Brooklyn, and we moved to New York after graduating.

Ava: You began your career as Associate Counsel in the New York Department of Health Bureau of Professional Medical Conduct, then in 2001, went to the Special Victims Bureau of the Nassau County DA, handling cases with child victims under the age of 13, who had been severely physically and/or sexually abused. These are hard issues to handle professionally and emotionally. What led you to want to pursue this type of career?

Silvia: This  country gave me a lot of opportunities to become who I wanted to be, and I always envisioned that I would be a public servant because I wanted to give back to the society that had given me so much. I was able to go to law school because I got a grant from the state of California because I had good grades in college. I was very grateful for that. So early on, I decided that I was determined to do public service.

Ava: Is there a case that comes to mind that you're maybe most proud of or one that was particularly challenging that resonates with you?

Silvia: There are many. The faces of all those children stay with you. Many of them are in touch with me even now when they are in high school or college… the key is to empower them and give them back the security that the person who abused them took away from them.

It's difficult work and not everybody can do it. At the time, I had two little girls myself, but you learn to create compartments when you’re interviewing the children and preparing them for trial.  It is a long process.  As a lawyer and prosecutor, it is important work, it is necessary work.  Plus, there’s plenty of training to understand how to handle a child disclosing something that is so difficult for them to acknowledge, many of them don’t even realize that what the perpetrator did was wrong. I had boys and girls who were sexually abused. There was a course of conduct- it wasn't just one time. It's very rare when it's just one time; the stranger in the bushes doesn't really exist. They are abused by people they know, and they trust. I felt if I can handle it, how can I not do it? Children are the most vulnerable victims, the most helpless.

Ava: Wow. That’s so hard.

Ava: After your time there, you became the Deputy Bureau, Chief Narcotics and Gang Bureau, and the Chief of the Prescription Drug Unit and were promoted to Director of Office of Immigrant Affairs in 2015, a position you currently hold. As an immigrant yourself, do you find that your passion drives your purpose or perhaps it's even your purpose drives your passion and the type of work that you do?

Silvia: I think my passion drives my purpose because I've always felt that my role as a lawyer, this is a cliché, but it's true, was to give a voice to people who, because of their circumstances, cannot fight for themselves. The immigrant population in our country has been so systematically and intentionally…decimated starting in January 2017 with the Muslim Ban… For example, the asylum process has been made more and more difficult, even though it has been in place for many, many years. All the pathways that existed for legal immigration have been curtailed in the last four years. The purpose of the Office of Immigrant Affairs is to help the immigrant population seeking assistance from the criminal justice system, to coordinate the prosecution of immigrant related crime, and to support and encourage the victims to come forward when they’re a victim of a crime. Many victims of crimes are terrified to report it. Many of them come from countries, like I did, that are run by dictators, there is corruption in their governments, and they’re afraid of the police. They fear that reporting what happened to them will impact their immigrant status and may result in possible deportation.

Ava: I want to shift a little bit from your professional to your personal life. As you mentioned, your husband, you met in law school and he's an attorney as well, and your daughter, Amanda is an attorney. So clearly something rubbed off on her. I hate the word balance because I'm not sure balance really exists, but how did you throughout your life and career “balance” your professional obligations as well as being a wife and a mother?

Silvia: I'm not sure that balance is the right word, and you do need help. I always worked full-time and since the time my children were two and three, I was commuting from Long Island into Manhattan every day. But I had help. My husband was a full partner in parenting. When my girls were very small, I had a live-in nanny. Child care is always an issue. I was very lucky that I was able to do that, but it was very important that our time together be meaningful and special. It's not easy. I think you need to become very organized. You need to like your job. Otherwise, it's not worth the effort, and I always felt that the work I was doing was helping someone. I believed that the work I was doing was important. I shared it with my children. I took them to court. When I had trials, I took them to summations. They knew what I did,  that I worked with children who needed help.  

The balance is easier if you have a partner that respects what you do and cooperates and shares the responsibilities of both the home and the children and the shopping, the cooking, and everything else. I was lucky that I had that. I mean, I probably chose him because I knew he would be that way. But for me, working was not much of a choice, I wanted to, I wanted to work and do what I was doing.

Ava: You spoke to demonstrating to your daughters, showing them what you did every day. And obviously that sort of mentorship, I'm sure caused your daughters to want to pursue  careers similar to yours. Can you speak to maybe other women you mentor the importance of mentorship for women in the legal field?

Silvia: My daughters chose their careers. One is a lawyer and the other teaches high school in NYC. I think both feel the need to contribute, to help. Whether it is companies or businesses that need assistance to survive, or students from underprivileged backgrounds. I am very proud of the work they do.

Mentorship is so important, especially women guiding other women. When I went to law school, the first day I walked in, in my section there were a hundred guys and fourteen women. It was 1978. And all fourteen of us were different ages. Only about half of us had just graduated from college and went straight into law school. We all sat in the front row together because we were afraid to separate. We got called on a lot. And the reason I I'm telling you this is because I could have used a mentor. If I had It would have helped a lot to have  somebody I could talk to, but of course there weren't very many women lawyers at the time who were like me, who had come from another country, who had to learn English, and did well enough in college that they got into a good law school. I would have loved to have somebody who had lived that experience that I could talk to…that could say to me, “I get it” keep moving forward. There was discrimination. Many law firms would not hire women.  Most judges were men. I had opposing counsel once refer to me as “that girl” and the judge just smiled. That is just one anecdote, there were many more, Things are much better now. Now there are more women in law school than men. So many judges and partners in law firms are women. So, mentorship, I think, is more important than ever. And women raising other women higher is one of the best things we can do as professionals.

Ava: I guess on a final note, I think there's a lot of hopelessness and people feeling discouraged. What advice do you have to women who are in the midst of their career or are working their way up to lead a successful, not only career, but life, ultimately.

Silvia: The darkest moments I've experienced happened when I doubted myself. And I've had them. My advice is: focus on what you want to do, who you want to be - it's going to happen. There is going to be a lot of success. But there are going to be moments when you doubt yourself and wonder whether you're strong enough, or good enough, or know enough. Whatever you don't know, you can learn. I had to learn criminal procedure when I changed paths in the middle of my career and became a criminal prosecutor, and I mean, learn it on the ground, not from a book. Whatever you don't know, you can learn. In those moments when you question your own strength and you doubt if you are in the right path, talk to a friend, or a mentor.

Ava: Totally. These are emotions we all feel in some capacity.

Silvia: When it happens, know that it's temporary, tell yourself by tomorrow or later today, I'm going to feel better and take stock of all the good things that you have in your life. Because the key to happiness is gratefulness, whether in your private life, or your professional life.   

Ava: 100%. I think those are great words of wisdom. And especially the gratitude is so, so important right now, especially to always remember, because we all have something we can be grateful for.

Silvia: We all have things we're grateful for right now. Presently, we're living in very difficult times that for many of us are unprecedented. For most young people, there has never been any real adversity that they've had to face. We’re finally having conversations that we've never had before, or at least not since the 1960s. These are uncertain times. A lot of people have lost their jobs, but we've been through that part of history before and came out of it. And that's where hope comes in. And gratitude.